The entire day seemed like a blur, both the longest and shortest day of my life, and the scariest and happiest day as well. It still feels surreal to say things like “my wife” or “I’m married” or to look at my ring. I know that it will probably start to seem more normal as time goes on, but I’m enjoying the weirdness right now.

About the only things I can add to Cathy’s account of the wedding is the bachelor party, on Saturday, February 16. As far as I know, no one had a camera, so there aren’t any pics, but it was rather tame, if not late.

Sean, my best man, organized a dinner at Claddagh Pub in Baltimore, where we kept things pretty much low-key. There were at least two separate bachelorette parties that were taking place there at the same time, and near as we can figure, that means everyone dresses up in silly outfits and gets drunk. After dinner, we went over to Edgar’s to play pool until something like 2 in the morning. The entire time, I proved yet again that I can’t play pool to save my life. After we closed Edgar’s, we went back to Sean’s hotel, to swap cars, and then drove back to Frederick. I figure we got in sometime around 3:30 in the morning. After a nice 4-5 hour nap, Sean made sure I was awake, then we got into our tuxes and drove back to Baltimore, arriving right when we were supposed to, at 12:30pm.

We spent most of the next hour+ just waiting, with me basically trapped in a room so that I wouldn’t inadvertently see Cathy in her dress. Groomsmen and bridesmaids were going back and forth between our room and Cathy’s, and I got fitted with a lapel mic and had a few pictures snapped by the photographer. The hour seemed to drag on, but eventually we were told to get ready. Sean, Morty (our officiant), and I were led through back hallways at Martin’s to the room where the ceremony and reception were to take place, and we got to wait some more behind the curtains until the rest of the wedding party was ready, then we walked out and took our places.

I couldn’t really tell you what happened during the ceremony, but I remember when I first saw Cathy, radiant in her gown, and thinking how beautiful she looked. After that, everything up until we left the reception is nothing but a blur. I can’t wait to see the video to find out what the ceremony and reception were like.

Incidentally, we and others have put up some pictures. Some of the links will be updated, so be sure to check back, and as we learn of more, I’ll add them to the post. So far we have:

• Debra and Cedric’s pictures that Cathy’s put up in her account
• Leigh’s pictures
• Sabrina’s pictures
• A collection of multiple sets that I’ve put up, where all wedding-related pictures I have will go
• The professional shots, just enter “February” for the month, “2008″ for the year, and either “Catherine” or “Michael” for the name, and it will provide a link to view/order pictures.

Our original planned date had been March 23, 2008. It sounded good at the time, until we asked the place we ultimately decided upon (Martin’s West) if it was available. They pointed out that, while it was free, it was also Easter Sunday. Errrr… So, after some brainstorming, we finally came up with a new date. The advantage is, the following Monday should be a day off for a lot of people. The date? February 17, 2008.

Like I said, it’s a little earlier than we originally wanted, but now that we’ve thought about it, it works for us. It’s close to Valentine’s Day, which we don’t tend to celebrate much, meaning we won’t get overwhelmed. And it should be close to a holiday, meaning we can probably get away for a long weekend near our anniversary every year. Not to mention we’ll probably want to get away from the cold…

I was hoping to avoid getting mired in the details myself with the planning of our wedding. At least, that was the plan when we initially discussed not planning until after the holidays. I had these visions of sitting back, being blissfully unaware of all the legwork, details, dealing with weeding out selections for food, venue, etc. I had thought that I could stay detached and just give my final consent on whatever decisions had been made, as while I can deal with most kinds of stress, this personal stuff really gets me in my gut.

However, it’s already becoming apparent, just a few days after “the holidays” are over, that I’m going to have to be more involved. Partly it’s because Cathy’s already stressing out and feeling overwhelmed. Partly it’s because as she’s starting to initially look into these things, I realize that it’s better to give my input sooner rather than later. And partly it’s because it’d be a real bastard move on my part to just let her deal with everything on her own. But mostly, I think it’s because, despite how I thought I’d feel about it, I really want to be involved¹.

What complicates matters somewhat is that we’re planning to pay for everything ourselves. This will actually help force us to keep things small (read: affordable) and things in-check. I know I’m definitely not the type for those big elaborate weddings with hundreds of guests, big to-dos, and all sorts of extravagances. I’ve been to those types of weddings, and they’re…not my thing at all. Something smaller and more intimate, probably under 100 people, is more my style. I’m lucky that Cathy feels the same way.

As far as dates go, we’re still shooting for sometime in March of 2008, though that might change based on venue availability. Neither of us are seriously considering a church wedding at this point, since we’re both oh-so-incredibly religious. Honest. We don’t know where that whiff of brimstone comes from when we walk into a place of worship. It’s purely coincidence, as is the rising temperature in the room. I think the current plan is to find a hotel or some other place that can accomodate both the wedding itself and the reception, though that might change as we explore our options.

The same issues with having the ceremony in a church is going to probably affect our choice of an officiant. Fortunately we have several friends who are qualified to perform, and have performed, weddings. That could be an interesting solution, as having a friend do the honors would mean we at least avoid a lot of the rigmarole that would go along with a traditional approach. Also, if I remember correctly, in Maryland as long as the couple recognizes and acknowledges the authority of the person performing the ceremony, they’re qualified. We definitely need to look into that…

As much as I don’t even want to think about the food² right now, it basically comes bundled with the location. Joy. We’ll have to get a better estimate of how many people we want first. Then there’s music, a photographer, flowers³, etc. Those, at least, should be things we can put off for a while. Maybe I should look at the insane book of lists that Cathy picked up, broken down by time until the wedding, just so we don’t get ahead of ourselves.

At least the cake is mostly taken care of, as we’ve already talked with the best cake artist we know, Cathy’s sister’s mother-in-law, who has done all the cakes for Cathy’s nephews’ birthdays, Cathy’s graduation, and so forth, all of them excellent. One detail’s taken care of! Whee!

Now, how about that drink?

1. Cathy now tells me, several hours after she found out I started this, that she’s glad I came to this conclusion on my own [back]
2. And what kind of alcohol to have. I’ve always, as a guest, preferred the open bar approach, though a cash bar is…acceptable too [back]
3. But two people have recommended just getting them from the grocery store. Maybe if costs are getting out of control [back]

I can’t say that it was a real surprise, seeing as how we’ve been together for over 6 years, and have lived together most of that time, but it’s still a bit of a shock. Cathy’s already written about it, so I’ll just let it stand at that, as it’s pretty much the way I remember it happening too. About the only thing I’d add is that I’ve been trying to think for weeks how to get out to the store to look at the rings without arousing any suspicions. Not bothering to do that seems to have worked out easier. If anyone’s interested and hasn’t seen them yet, there are pics of the ring on Flickr.

Of course, now it seems like even though we haven’t set a date, there’s a ton of work to be done, from deciding where and when, to who to invite, how many, etc. It’s truly scary that Cathy managed to pick up an inch-thick book of lists of things to think of and ask for planning a wedding. As of right now, though, I think we’re just waiting until after the holidays to really think about it. At least, I am…